Gaylord

Is not my real name. It is the name of my mother's dead sister. She is the one of whom my mother says "she was the best" "she was the nicest", etc. She died quite young, a very long time ago. My mother, many years ago, paid me an exquisite compliment by telling me I was most like her sister Gaylord. If my child had been a girl she would have been Shaina Gaylord (but he wasn't and he isn't). There is something liberating about writing under an "assumed" name - I love that description. It is like going on vacation alone to some far away place and making up a persona for yourself. Blogging gives you a forum and an assumed name gives you a sense of freedom. It is false of course, since you provide your blog address to everyone you have ever known. So why not put my own name to it? I don't know, I am contemplating changing that but haven't decided. Even if everyone knows who I am, having a different name is fun, in some weird limited way. Using the name gave me the courage to start this blog with an entry about the "red hat" thing (you can still read it under November), which apparently offended quite a few folks. Amazingly and unlike my "real self", I didn't care. If for no other reason, I think I will keep my Aunt Gay's name for now, I don't think she'd mind.