D'var Torah

We have this really cool idea in Judaism, that anyone can and should interpret the Torah. In our world it is not just the Rabbis that have the power, intellect, right, whatever to interpret scripture. In our world scripture is personal, to be understood and explicated by each of us. I love doing this. I particularly love writing the D'var Torah for a shabbat service (this is equivalent to the sermon, its a commentary). Finding a theme, particularly one that resonates in the modern world, is not always easy. Some Torah portions are filled with terrible things. This week was all about the punishing God, the torments to be inflicted if we don't observe all the rules. Its a difficult portion unless but the good news is that God loves us nevertheless. The last one I wrote on was all about skin sores (often interpreted as leprosy) and things unclean. I have been asked to write about this particular portion several times; not easy or attractive (its just a matter of dates). Each time the Rabbi says the teachers at the seminary say only the best get to write this portion because it is so difficult. I think he is just glad I did it, rather than leaving it to him! Nevertheless, it is interesting to do. It stretches my mind. And it makes me glad to be a Jew, because everyone's Midrash (commentary) is welcome and encouraged. I love that egalitarian approach to the bible, to religion. And while I know that in the more orthodox corners of our religion women's commentaries are not always welcome, I sit in a corner where my view is solicited, welcomed and praised. How cool is that?

psych a delic state u

Driving home in my car the other evening I was amusing myself by looking at signs and bumper stickers as I always do. I am a big fan of words and am endlessly amused by how people use and abuse them, especially here in the US of A; we are language manglers of the first water. One small example (although off topic) there is a small local restaurant with an out of proportionally large sign. It is an old fashioned sign in a 60's sort of geometric shape. Now this sign has said the same thing probably for as long as I have lived here, but I never noticed the message quite as I did today. It says: "Old homemade Italian style bread". I am thinking what they actually meant to say was "Old style Italian homemade bread". I am guessing they didn't really mean to advertise that they would be providing their customers with old bread. But whatever they meant, that is what they said. I saw a sticker that really struck me. It was a rear window sticker fashioned after those that are the names of a college or university; kind of arched and florid. Here is what it said: "Psychadelic State U". Yep, it really said that and....no that is not a typo. You and I both know that psychedelic is spelled as I just did. And all I could think was that not only should a person not be all that proud that they think acid trips are a good substitute for a college education, but the proof that they are not is in the spelling. How fitting that they couldn't even spell their own joke properly, and how pathetic. We live in the strangest country in the world where people think this is funny, where my former clients showed up for felony court wearing "things go better with Coke" t-shirts and rednecks hang tennis ball testicles from the backs of their pickup trucks (yes I know this last is not about words but it is so weird I had to include it). As a nation we seem to have virtually no boundaries about what we will say and do in public and although we know othat the internet is providing a new and sometimes devastating means of memorializing our dumbest moments, it is still the words that live on. Our words live on to haunt us, to remind us and to evidence how we abuse them. I think "Psychadelic State U" says it all, illiterate minimum wage worker with a wasted education.

Happy Mother's Day

Wow. There are so many things about mother's day I could talk about. Amazing that what is essentially a holiday created by Hallmark has taken on such vast significance in this country. We tried to do a couple of errands today and the stores were closed?? As if this were some major national holiday. And I get just as sucked in as everyone else. But it feels good to be appreciated, I think. But I think further that this falls into the same category as food banks at christmas and turkey dinners for the homeless on thanksgiving. We fill the food banks at the holiday out of an abundance of good will but ignore the need the rest of the year. We make turkey dinners for the homeless for thanksgiving but we don't concern ourselves with how they eat the rest of the time. We should not need a national day to honor our mothers. We should do it every day. We are taught this from kindergarten, but unfortunately we do not learn it until much later in life. For goodness sake it says this in the ten commandments, for those with even a mildly religious bent this is a cornerstone concept. Our mothers, good and less so, for most of us did the best they could, gave their hearts, their time and their minds to try to make us the best people possible. Not everyone's mother was good or loving or even a parent at all. In our frenzy over this national holiday we forget this fundamental truth: not everyone loves their mother and not all mothers deserve our love. But most do. So even though I know that it is a hallmark holiday, and I know I am loved and respected all year round, it is nice to hear it out loud once in a while.

The Marching Band Maven

Ok, so on the subject of heroes. I was watching the news and amidst all the usual annoying crap, trivial bullshit and depressing bad news there was a gem of a story. I didn't catch the whole thing but... Apparently there is a gent in New Orleans who decided that there was not enough for the children to do. So he started, of all things, a freelance marching band. It is not clear to me how or where the instruments come from, but this guy apparently teaches the music, and the marches and moves to the kids. This has become an enormous success. In fact it is such a success, that there is a 400 place waiting list. The man said in the story that there is an eight year old who calls him every day and says "are you the man with the band? I want to be in your band." Wow. This also falls in the category of what one person does can make a difference, despite what people often say. This man's perseverance and clarity of vision is making a huge difference in the lives of hundreds of children. Although he has the most impact on the kids in the band, he has also already affected the lives of the 400 kids who want to be in his band. This is a hero, real deal. He isn't trying to make a reputation, be in a movie, get famous; he is just trying to do some good in a world really short on selfless goodness. Let's see... your role model can be a multi million dollar athlete rapist, or some musician in New Orleans who loves music and loves kid. I know who I pick.

Where have The Heros Gone?

Today was just one of those days. I read motivational quotes and just didn't feel motivated. You ever have one of those days? I was reading the blog of someone whose writing and opinions I have some respect for. I don't know this person personally but I read his opinions regularly. Sort of like the people I hope will read this some day! He was writing about the death of Paul Harvey, who inspired him greatly, as he did so many millions. And about the illness or death of many of the inspirational leaders that he looked up to; many of them of an earlier generation. And he was mourning the loss of all the wisdom, the heros, the role models. His conclusion was ultimately that their wisdom will live on. My conclusion is that we have to work harder to be wise, to be the role models and the heros. He came to the conclusion that there was nobody left to look up to. My conclusion is that we have to create those citizens. In every generation there are leaders and heros. Often they don't look familiar to us as we grow older and they grow younger; perhaps we will miss them entirely. But the younger generations won't miss them, they will recognize leadership when they see it, they will be inspired by greatness of effort, of ideal and accomplishment. Look at what happened in the last presidential election It was the young that carried the day; they recognized inspirational when they saw it. It is our job not only to raise heros and leaders, but to point them out, to keep an open mind, to show our children where to look. Nobody is inspirational because they are a good basketball player, they are inspirational because they use their money and fame to bring something good and important to the community, to the children, to the poor. And then there are those who are inspirational because they do important, good things and they are not rich, they are not famous and they do not get recognition, they simply do the right thing. Isn't that really what we want to teach our children anyway, that you do the right thing because it is the right thing and for no other reason.

Going Green; Faux, Fun or For Real

Okay. Those of you who know me might know I am pretty nutty about the use of toxic chemicals in the home and about recycling. But there are different types of nutty. First off, I have recycled for years. I have been married to the same dear man for almost 20 years but he still doesn't know what you can recycle and what you can't. In every town there are certain things you can recycle. The plastics havae a little number on the bottom. In our last town you could recycle 1-5. Here just 1, 2 and 3. But if it looks like cardboard, my husband throws it in. If it looks like plastic, my husband throws it in. But I digress as usual. The thing that irks me most is when people say "what I do can't matter, can't make a difference". What I say is "if we all picked up our trash, there would be no trash". Not exactly but you get what I mean. But there are many levels of "going green" these days. There is celebrity going green, there is moderately wealthy or well off going green. These levels of greenness involve major renovations to your home or the building of the perfectly green home, sometimes with expensive eco-friendly materials, etc. Then there is "going green for show". People who talk big or who make a show of this but don't really live it. Now I am all for the big gesture, the green home, etc.; but not all of us can do this. But all of us can make some simple changes. But we resist. Use a little less paper towel. Buy micro fiber cleaning cloths and wash them. Use vinegar to clean everything and reduce your bleach footprint. I buy eco-friendly laundry and dish soaps. They are a bit more expensive but I save so much on the other household cleaning items that I still save. Of course now the clorox brand has come out with a line of "green" products. This is great and I'm all for it. But the traditionally eco-friendly brands are actually less expensive (they used to be the expensive ones). Meanwhile, Americans are so addicted to multiple cleaning products that we don't think something as simple as vinegar will work (and not smell once it dries). If you need bleach, use a bleach pen on the spot, not a cup of bleach. But trust me, you rarely need bleach. Wash your cans and bottles and put them in the recycle bin; and your magazines and your newspapers. Stop using disposable items like paper plates, cups amd napkins. Fill your dishwasher all the way up. Combine laundry so you are running a full load. Clean your AC filters amd your dryer vents. These are normal people things you can do that make a difference. You don't have to be rich to do them and, despite what my teenager thinks, what one person does can and will make a difference. I am not a celebrity and I do foget my reusable grocery sacks, I am a nut but not obsessive, I can't retrofit my house but I can retrofit my habits. Change is not only possible, it is necessary.

The Blogger Blogs about Blogging

I just had to write this. I blog for me. I started this because I can candidly be myself, I can actually just say what I think without worrying about who I have to be at work, or with my kid, or at Temple. Don't get me wrong, I am always pretty much me. But over the years I have learned, as have we all, to keep something back, depending. My friends don't agree with me about everything and sometimes its better just to keep it to yourself. There are people I truly like, sometimes love, whose politics are so different from mine that it just isn't worth talking about. So here, I can say just what I want. How liberating is that? Its almost as good as singing. Of course I can't talk too much about health because my mom is my #1 fan and I wouldn't want her to worry. (No mom, I'm not hiding any desperate health secrets). I kind of love that I have found a written voice which is something I share with my mom who is a writer. Of course my talent is much less and quite different. I can't write a novel, I don't have the discipline and don't understand how to structure a plot. And I can't write a full length book, at least not yet, because I see and think about life in these bits. Blogging is just right (write?) because I can describe it in bits. I can tell just the bit of story that is on my mind at that moment. Anyway, the point of this is that although I do this for myself, I am really very excited. My mom has been not only the #1 fan but my only fan for a long time. Now I actually have 3 fans. I am really very excited There is something very nice about thinking other people like reading your writing. Surprised me. So to my three fans... Thanks.

Say Goodnight Gracie

Alright. the perfect story of the overcommitted working mom, wife and person with a parent living in their home. Sometime during the day my husband managed to pull out his back (of course he has to do a ridiculous amount of physical work tomorrow, a job for which he only gets paid if he works; no benefits no sick days). This happens occasionally for no particular reason and he is then incapacitated. In this particular case he tried to stop a two thousand pound roller from running over another human. Why he thinks he can stop two thousand pounds is something of a mystery. but he continues to think he is physically invincible and he mostly is. Anyway, I digress. My boss is here from South Florida, the day is passing in a blur of projects, crises, e-mail and phone calls from licensing authorities all over the country. There is a corny event I would like to see at the Temple tonight at 7, I think my dad would like, a little lecture/film thing on Burns and Allen. But I don't normally get off work before 6 or so. I work about 20 minutes from home. At 4:38 I get a call from the boy wonder who has stayed at school to meet with a teacher and needs a ride home (fifteen minutes in the wrong direction!). As a diabetic struggling to do the right thing I know I have to eat because I can't wait until 8:30. So I call my dad who has always been a great cook but now he is very very very slow, and sometimes confused. I ask him to slice and marinate the beef I took out for stir fry and maybe slice an onion. I should have given him several hours warning but didn't. After quite a few phone calls we got it straight what is needed. I blew off my boss at 5:30, raced to the high school (had to call my son on his friend's phone because of course he forgot to charge his phone), picked up the kids, dropped off the friend and got home about 6:10. I heated up the wok, threw in the beef, at which time my dad starts telling me why my recipe and method is wrong. He gets out a tool and starts flinging food around, complaining that I am boiling his Japanese food (which is not what I was cooking?!) At this point my son, having been ordered to set the table, is asking "salt? pepper? what do you want to drink? knives? bowls?" and my dad is muttering "why are you boiling that? too much liquid. use this tool to take it out. what do you mean you're not taking it out? who's recipe is that?" My head is about to explode. We sat down at 6:39. We know my husband isn't going, he is groaning on the sofa. We know my son isn't going, he is way too cool. My dad just doesn't eat that fast. I say, its ok if we don't go. He says no, I'm done let's go. So we end up at the Temple, spend an hour with Burns and Allen (I think my dad went for the cookies which he knows they'll have) and come home. Laughter is good. I am in bed by 9:13. All I can say is Goodnight Gracie.

Teenage Problem Solving: an Oxymoron?

So. When my son and his friends complained about certain teachers, I listened, at first, with half an ear. I figured they were mostly attributing their own lack of motivation, work and committment to the teacher's flaws. And then I started to actually look at the assignments in a different way. This was primarily as a result of my son experiencing a brief disastrous dip in his grades and schoolwork. A dear friend of mine started talking to him and us about how to be successful, how to address schoolwork, etc. An example of what I began to see in some classes was as follows. Read Oedipus but I won't give you any background on Greek drama. Tell me what all these words mean (describing aspects of Greek drama) but I won't gie you historical context or source material or references. Do a presentation on Macbeth but oh, by the way, you don't have to read Macbeth. Now I won't underestimate the teenagers lack of motivation, work and committment, but this is not good teaching. It is hard to describe here the deficits in the method of teaching but I am covinced they are there. Next, there we are at the dinner table and the teenagers start in complaining but before you know it, they are asking what to do. Wow. I believe that you instill respect for teachers and others in authority, but they don't all deserve to be "liked" or esteemed as teachers. My answer way this, you have to find a solution because the teacher isn't going to change. The teacher isn't going to acknowledge that they are doing something in a less than helpful way. And the teacher is going to give you a grade. So you need to solve for what is. You learn what the teacher does, how they operate, and you figure out how to succeed despite it. That is your job, along with learning what you can, to succeed in spite of those who may not be the best at supporting your success. You learn to be a problem solver. Because all through life, you will be the most valuable... player, friend, employee, if you are the problem solver and not the complainer. Complaining rarely does any good; success I think really is the best revenge.